How Can This Happen?...

I do believe my emotions are so intertwined with my friends that I am unable to fully feel happiness. Currently I feel like utter crap. I know the root of my problem and I'm powerless to eradicate it. I feel like a close friend and I are breaking up, everyone knows the pain of a breakup can be an excruciating thing but the pain felt at a friendship coming to an end is 10 times worse. 

This I don't even know, how to feel right now. In my life I feel like everyone kinda just leaves me behind and I am forever stuck in this place even though I want to move forward. I take a step forward and this force just knocks me on the ground and I just sit there dazed, contemplating how can this happen?....

I have honestly had enough of this, I sometimes no longer see a point in getting up because I am so bruised and battered and I know that something is coming back around to knock me down! Its all good and well to say something cliché like, its the trials that make us stronger. I agree but I have had my butt handed too me too often, I'm just going to lay on the ground for a bit them I'll contemplate getting back up. 

For right now I'll be the kid in the sandbox by himself thinking about life. Sigh...

All I can think or say is How Can This Happen?...