Betrayal

Nothing stings worse than when a friend who claims to love you turns around and stabs you in the back. Does the concept of friendship mean anything to anyone anymore? I am puzzled as to why people feel the need to constantly bring someone down because they feel like crap. How does this make you feel any better? Knowing that you have inflicted wounds that can run deeper than any knife possibly could. The words of a friend hold more meaning than anything else. So why say something to betray that trust you guys share?...
I'm going to lay out a scenario for you guys, say you had something really bad happen to you and you feel like you can tell this to your friend because you trust them. But recently that friend has been pulling away from you. On a popular social networking site you see your friend writing something completely horrendous and you know for a fact its about you because it contains explicit details of your bad encounter. How the hell are you supposed to feel? You friend's reasoning for doing this, "I need for you to not talk to me anymore, I need for you to not understand me, I need for this to be over because I can see where this is going to go later down in life, you will leave me and I can't have that happen, I have to be in control of this situation, I cannot let you be in control, I can never feel powerless or vulnerable". Is that grounds for the termination of a friendship?  Even though you know that this friendship is the most important thing to the person and if it ends it'll will hurt and possibly send this person into a state of depression she/he isn't willing to come out of. Do you risk it and take this chance?
How do you deal with a betrayal this big?.....

The One That Got Away...

So I've been inspired to share this Katy Perry song with you guys because currently I'm trying to figure out if this will be in the next 10 years singing this song....so here it goes guys. Hope you enjoy this song as much I do.

Happy Independence!!

To the place where my wonderful mom grew up, I'd like to dedicate this post to them. Happy Independence Barbados!!! (for those who don't know where Barbados is, its a tiny island in the Caribbean Sea, where Rihanna is from)

Happy Independence Bim! ^.^

What Today Beheld...

Today was definitely a lazy day, no school= bummy, lazy me! Brilliant way for any teenager to spend their day right?...
Well I just got horrific news while writing my post, well horrific in a teenager girl sense. My ex whom I just broke up with a month (after a year, a month and 3 weeks to be exact) or so ago apparently is hooking up with a girl I would consider an acquaintance (at the bottom of friendship totem pole), we had a brief moment of bonding on a school trip. I currently don't know how to feel. (any suggestions?)
I'm in between hurt/pissed. But am I justified? I mean we are over, there was no love after a while so why should I even give a damn, right?...
I have always prided myself in never giving in too my teenage girl emotions and lately I've been doing it soo often.
I saw this post going in a completely different direction, I was going to blog about how wonder my lazy day was and all the things I delighted in today but now all I feel like doing is crying my eyes out. And I kinda hate myself for it.
Lately my life has been like Degrassi or a soap opera or something overly dramatic. I'm just waiting to see who's going to slap who in the face or who's going to get the std and spread it around.
I've always hoped my life would be a little bit more original but I guess not. Anyone ever had the feeling that they were living life through a television screen and maybe someone, somewhere in the world was watching their life for entertainment? Because I currently feel like that.
I wish I was 5 again with my Barney paraphernalia, running around scraping my knee and having my mommy kiss my troubles away. Rather than live my current dramatic life!
This was just a snippet of my dramatic life (to be a boy must have less drama...)

For An Amazing Follower! :)

Alright my lovelies, this is a personal request of mine! Can you please follow/subscribe to a wonder friend of mine. Her site is up and coming (all over again, some technical glitches) but she is funny and real. Her posts are interesting! I can guarantee that she's awesome so please please please follow/subscribe to http://www.alegitimatevision.blogspot.com 
Never a dull moment guys ^.^

Why didn't I?

Opportunity presented itself today and I didn't take it. I could've had my way and been ravished and in turn do some ravishing. We slipped away into a classroom out of view of everyone and we had the opportunity to promulgate ourselves to one another in such a way that would make a grown man blush. The caress felt allowed for some slight saturation. It was absolute heaven, sheer bliss!
My fruit salad was a wonderful highlight of my day, what were you thinking about?

Loneliness At It's Finest...

Each photo currently represents how I feel, as you can see like utter crap.
But feel free to enjoy the beautiful, dark, pictures I found ^.^ (this face completely juxtaposes the emotions portrayed above lol)

How Can This Happen?...

I do believe my emotions are so intertwined with my friends that I am unable to fully feel happiness. Currently I feel like utter crap. I know the root of my problem and I'm powerless to eradicate it. I feel like a close friend and I are breaking up, everyone knows the pain of a breakup can be an excruciating thing but the pain felt at a friendship coming to an end is 10 times worse. 

This I don't even know, how to feel right now. In my life I feel like everyone kinda just leaves me behind and I am forever stuck in this place even though I want to move forward. I take a step forward and this force just knocks me on the ground and I just sit there dazed, contemplating how can this happen?....

I have honestly had enough of this, I sometimes no longer see a point in getting up because I am so bruised and battered and I know that something is coming back around to knock me down! Its all good and well to say something cliché like, its the trials that make us stronger. I agree but I have had my butt handed too me too often, I'm just going to lay on the ground for a bit them I'll contemplate getting back up. 

For right now I'll be the kid in the sandbox by himself thinking about life. Sigh...

All I can think or say is How Can This Happen?...

The Wonderful Life I Lead...

Good evening my lovelies ^.^, today's post will be a bit different as I am in a brilliant mood which for me doesn't happen often. I am usually a bit mopey and reserved but I just prefer it like that. I don't delight in the same things most people my age do such as drinking, partying and smoking (how could these things not be fun right?...)
Anyways on to my brilliant day! I spent it with the most incredible person I have so far come to meet. She is beautiful, smart, she's blunt (love that!), she's almost like my twin! Today at school (I'm 17 btw) all tuition was suspended (reason unimportant), so it was just like a huge lime (for those who don't know, a lime is a huge get together of people just having fun, a downgrade of a party) of a bunch of school kids basically just having fun.
I spent most of the day with her so my day just turned up aces!
Until my brother (older, meaner -_-) had to come ruin it by arguing with me but other than that my day was amazing!
So this post was not anything of real interest just a snippet of my day! Don't worry my next few posts will make up for the ones based on my often uneventful life. I kid, my life is never uneventful it's so drama filled -_-. Such is the life of a girl ehh...
Ohh guys can you do me a huge favour and promote my blog I promise I'll do the same for you! And I really need a help with a problem I have so can you guys check out my post, Am I Right or Am I Right? please it would mean alot to me :)

Thanks guyyyyss ^.^

The world through my eyes......: The beautiful sky!

The world through my eyes......: The beautiful sky!: The beauty of nature has always fascinated me. It actually makes me feel blessed to be in this beautiful world and helps me realize that we ...

Legitimate Visions: Katelcy #1

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A Little Light Humour

...and so she would dance

She realized she was lucky - because she could actually see it - how the trees got more beautiful each year...how they danced with such graceful pride, surviving each season's change...and she knew their beauty lied not in the perfection, but the growth...and she could see it - in the trees, the people around her, and some days, even in herself...and so she would dance”

An Untitled Piece Of Work

Pluck me, strip me, smother me

Rip me apart

Devour the very esscence of my being

Does it bring reward, knowing you’ve broken something already broken

Is the accomplishment the same

Does it bring the same fulfillment?

Watch the warm crimson fall from the self-inflicted wounds

Throw salt, alcohol even, the sting will subside the mind numbing pain felt

Only for a little while

Cuts run deep, blood pours more and more

The pain begins to engulf this small body

Save me from me

I am my own ghosts

Taunting and causing this unbearable pain
Life drains from this once vivacious body...

Random...

Hey world!...
This is just a random aside that will explain a little about my posts and myself. I am girl who finds the world to be a chaotic place and quite frankly I don't know what to do with myself. I sometimes feel lost in a sea of people who are also lost and searching for a purpose in life. I will often use ellipses (...) in my  posts as an indication of my own self-doubt or even to suggest a melancholy feeling. I will post at random. My posts are an indication of how I'm feeling, if you don't like it, well then scroll up. I will post just about anything that interest me. If you would like me to talk about something in particular then I have no problem with that, just leave me a message of some sort and I will write about your topic. I will also post pictures I find interesting.
Well that's all I care to write for right now on this matter so peace out guys :)

Save Me From Myself.....

Am I Right? Or Am I Right?

I've been pondering this cryptic question from the very time I closed my eyes and embarked on a restless journey of sleep. I often wondered what dictates a person being right? Isn't being right relative? Seeing as you can think you're right but the general consensus is that you are wrong. So currently I think I am right......
I have been struggling with a friend of mine over the weekend. She's just as damaged as I am if not even more so. She does this thing where she pushes me away so she can't hurt me but in this process it hurts me so is she right? I personally don't believe so but she does.
I've had enough of it, I'm physically, mentally and emotionally exhausted from our roller-coaster friendship. I love her immensely but I don't think I can continue to watch her self-destruct in front of my eyes (she even told me not to watch....). I think its about time I stop enabling her self-destructive behaviour so I want to talk to her mom about because I'm really worried she'll do something stupid again. So my question is Am I Right?
This has gone on for too long, she won't listen to me or her only other close friend what am I supposed to do? Just watch/don't watch her take her life? I'm in over my head and I need help, is it wrong for me to enlist the help of her mom? Am I doing the right thing? Am I Right?.........

The Awkward Blog of the Awkward Blogger: letting people down

The Awkward Blog of the Awkward Blogger: letting people down: one of my greatest weakness is that, i'm afraid of letting people down till sometimes that i could destroy myself... it was so hard for me t...

Dance with no inhibitions!!

Am I Pretty?

This is a question even the most gorgeous girl asks herself. But why is that? Is it that society dictates some unobtainable goal to keep women in check or is it just that we are born as insecure individuals? I personally believe its society's fault for this phenomenon......
But why do we buy into it I don't know. Maybe we are genetically predisposed to taking in crap we're told until it finally forms the foundations of our beliefs...
Either ways its folly that must stop. A girl who is 110 pounds shouldn't feel as though she is fat. Or a girl who's IQ is 138 shouldn't feel as though she's just a nerdy loser.
We as females must stick together and stop the hate! We must ban together in each other's trials and tribulations.
When you call that girl you barely know a slut that's a gateway for men to do it. When a man is behaving the same way the girl was what are you going to call him? Hero? Boss man? What?
Beauty is not all about the outside but the inside too so when you think about calling that girl fat, nerdy, slut ask yourself this question.....Am I Pretty? Because when you do either of the above mentioned you've just made your insides a little bit ugly hence you cannot embody the true meaning of beauty.
So ask yourself now, Am I Pretty?

Well hello to the world out there,
I am Amanda! I am undecided in the world! I often wonder sometimes what posses a person to leave after you both have invested so much time in a relationship. It really makes no sense to me. Even though I'm hurting right now I can't say the cliché time will heal all wounds, because pessimistic me doesn't believe that. I do believe bad things happen for no reason same with good things. Its sporadically done. You can chose to agree with me or not I quite frankly don't care. Its your opinion and I respect everyone's opinion. sigh* it's only with acceptance can the cliché statement hold any truth....
Such is life eehh?.....

Boredom maybe?....

Why am I posting?
Because currently I feel utterly lost in life so why not post random things for other utterly lost people and soon create a whole contingent of utter lost folks? lol jk
Well no not really...I just feel like putting my worthless day on the internet for the world to see :)
So enjoy! :)